Thursday, July 31, 2008

A few tips for men....

...on how to treat their wives after a visit to the parlour.

* After your wife comes back from half a day spent in the beauty parlor while you pulled your hair out in desperation at being left alone with the progeny, she is watching you for your reaction every step of the way from the minute she gets down from the auto.

* At all points in time, keep looking at her face adoringly and with wonder as though all your adult male fantasies have come true in her. Do NOT try to do something as unimportant as taking your son to the bathroom as he hops urgently from one foot to the other. This move of yours may be misconstrued as lack of interest on her part.

* In the interest of your peace and happiness ever after, please PAY ATTENTION as she discusses what she is going to be doing at the parlor BEFORE she leaves home. There will be questions when she gets back and I know that its not in your genes to be able to tell when she got a manicure with colorless nail varnish and if you had just paid attention to what she said, you may be able to suitably admire and ooh and aah over her nails.

* Do not even blink or miss a beat when she asks you how her hair color looks. Whether it is a garish baby pink or the exact same shade as she always had, always, always say with great enthusiasm, 'Awesome baby!! I love it..'

* If you do not like her haircut and both of you have an open and honest relationship where you discuss everything, well, this just aint one of them...You just have to zip up till the hair grows back...

* She has spent the best part of the day wincing as her body hair got pulled off her legs and arms and eyebrows and upper lip....believe me when I tell you, its bloody painful. Do NOT tell her how boring shaving is and how lucky women are to be able to wax body hair off...You just may find your legs getting waxed as you sleep one of these days.

* Do not ask blanch, or show any negative emotion at the amount of money she spent at the parlour, if, for some perverse reason, you need to ask at all.

* And last, but not the least, do not commit the cardinal sin. As she looks at you expectantly after getting her uber-cool haircut which her stylist assures her will make her look like a bomb, if you do not want grievious bodily injury and loss to preoperty, do not innocently ask her, 'What, no haircut????'

15 comments:

Itchingtowrite said...

oh yes- u got it right

Some like it hot..... said...

One question though, How do you control laughter in this midst?

aargee said...

hahahah! Good one! Would very much like to add more more stuff in the waxing part, though wouldn't do that in this public blog :) censored!

Mama - Mia said...

hahahahahaha!!

BM!! thanx for laughs on a dull friday mroning!! i think M was born with this training!!

actually more often that not he will push em sayi9ng go go, teddy bear!! :p (you ofcos know teddy bear in this case does NOT mean cuddly!;)

so how WAS your last parlour session?!

cheers!

abha

ps; you should really write more often! :)

Swati said...

hahhahah...tooo good ...men will be men :)

Aargee , where can we read that ????

whatsinaname said...

ROFL!
Thats why I always warn him NOT to comment after my visits. But this post is a must-read for him.
Can I fwd it? :)

Impulsively Me said...

Hiii..

I came over to your blog from Anamika's. I would like to interview you for an article on working couples that I am writing. It will be a great help if you could give me inputs. I read through some of your latest posts and would definitely love to have your inputs for my article, even though I do not know you personally! :)

I could not locate your email ID on your blogspot. Can you please drop in a line at
an . impulsive . me @ gmail . com
(Please remove the spaces!)

Else, you could leave a comment on my site with your email ID and I will write to you.

Thanks, BangaloreMom. :)

I do look forward to hearing from you.. :)

Cheers,
Me

BangaloreMom said...

ITW, Some Like it Hot, Aargee, Swati: Thanks....and no it was not funny.

WIAN: Pls do...if one man can learn from another's mistakes, well, why not?? This post was intended for men anyways. :D

Impulsively Me: Mailed you.

noon said...

Relate to this post somewhat - I just got a hair cut - I just did not have time to make an appointment with a proper stylist - so just went to the chain salon - B told me before I went itself - I don't want to hear you complain - if you get a lousy one when you go there and don't like it - don complain then - he wanted me to go to a proper one and spend more money etc - well anyways - I went and I didn't like my hair cut - I kept my mouth shut though so I don't hear "I told you" from B - but surprisingly B calmly said "Oh nanna pannirkaale!" :) So I left it at that - still keep my mouth shut and don't complain to him that I dont' actually like it! :)
I liked your last line...nice punch. Nice post.
So what did he say? That you look like a bomb? :)

mummyjaan said...

Hey, good post, BangaloreMom. Must show it to my husband too.

CouchP said...

Bangalore Mom, I'm a new blogger and am reading your posts with much interest! I love the way you write.. do check me out at storiesfrommycouch.blogspot.com.. I will be coming back to your space for more :)

Vidooshak said...

My wife just blew a Delhi-Bangalore plane ticket (Business Class) at the parlor. No one at office or home could detect the subtle coiffure evolution. I feel the pain of the man who must have inspired this post. I'm with you, brother!

gita said...

I enjoy reading your blog. Wanted to email you. What is your email.

Ladybird said...

Hi, just came across your blog. hope to visit again :)

CW said...

Hey, where're you? Long time no post?