Sunday, November 30, 2008

Why I was away...

Its ironic that I wrote about how unpredictable life can be only a few posts ago....It seems like a million light years ago since that time, a different era and it feels like I was a different person then.

I lost my father to a massive heart attack nearly 3 months back, 5th of September to be precise. Its been almost 3 months since life changes irrevocably, never to be the same again. I have stayed away from blogging because, somehow, even now it seems like putting it in words will make it too real, too permanent. The wound is still too raw and the pain is still too fresh for me to write anything coherent about daddy just now.

I will probably write about it sometime. But for now, I will continue to write posts about regular normal stuff...and go on pretending that all I need to do is press the beloved Coimbatore number to hear that beautiful voice pick up the phone and say, 'Enna kanne?'. I need to continue fooling myself. Just for a little while longer.

15 comments:

Just Like That said...

awwww....:-(

aargee said...

hey! I am very very sorry to hear that. I knew you were saying that he is not well during our last conversation. But I didn't realize that it could be this serious. I don't know what to say! I can understand what you will be going through. Take care. *hugs*

Swati said...

I tried to reach you several times since then. Phone was switched off and you did not replied to IMs. So I thought let me not touch and perhaps I would have asked to make a wound more sore. Take your time.

Timepass said...

Extremely sorry to hear the news..I'm sure ur father is taking care of u and ur family from where he is now

Anu Russell said...

I don't know you at all. But I can relate to the loss of a loved one. I hope you will feel a bit better soon. I am sorry for the loss.

Take care.

~nm said...

a big tight "HUG"!!

B o o said...

Hugs.

Mama - Mia said...

hugs...

i somehow didnt dare call though i picked up the phone often to try and have some words that may console you...

take care woman.

abha

Collection Of Stars said...

Hugs BM.
Take care

Anonymous said...

Deepest condolences....Srikanth

AarKay said...

Please accept my deepest condolences.May the lord help you to tide over this immense loss...

Manjula said...

My sincere Condolences. The vacuum created by the loss of a parent cannot be filled. I can relate to you because I lost my mom to breast cancer on Oct 2, 2008. We have our own lives now and especially the kids do not want to see us sad and crying. It is difficult, but we need to try and like you said fool ourselves.Let's cherish our parents' memories, I am sure they live with us in soul. Take care.

noon said...

God - BM - that last line "Enna Kanne" - man I feel so terrible reading it. I can hear a father's love for his child in those words - not the feeling of two adults talking on the phone at all. What a precious feeling and what a loss this is. It is so unfair...

Sumana said...

Condolences and hugs your way BM. Only time can heal for sure.

The Inquisitive Akka said...

I lost both my parents, its been a year since my mother died and 4 years since my father died. The last few years have been quite terrible but I think I am able to cope now. Time does heal I guess, at least that's what we have to keep telling ourselves.