Wednesday, July 13, 2011

5 things that motherhood taught me...

Aparna tagged me aeons ago to write about 5 things motherhood taught me. Sloth that I am, it took me this long to actually sit down and type it out though I have been mentally making a post of it for weeks. Anyways, here goes. It is none of the usual things you would expect but at least its honest.

1. It made me a more patient person.

One trait that I am constantly in short supply of. Dealing with existential questions such as 'Where is God?' when you are stuck in the middle of the MOTHER of all traffic jams. NEVER being able to finish a phone-call. Having your baby daughter follow you to the bathroom...all these vignettes of motherhood need an inexhaustible supply of patience.

2. It made me a more socially aware person.

When I read about the little kid that was electrocuted by a live-wire in the playground, the playground for chrissakes, you feel the pain more when you have children of your own. Everytime you hear news of school-shootouts or any tragedy that involves young children, you heart actually squeezes in pain. Before motherhood, I was able to read it all with a degree of distance. Now, I feel it.

3. It made me realise that there is life beyond a career.

I never thought I would be a full-time stay at home mom. And yet, that is exactly the choice I made when it came right down to it. I realised that nothing, NOTHING in the world can compensate for the joy in your child's face when he walks into the house after school. Not even the joy of making CEO. Not that there was any danger of that happening with me anyway.

4. It has made less judgemental of other women's choices.

Before kids, I was quick to judge and slow to understand. When I saw a toddler screaming in a restaurant, I would give the parents quelling looks. When I heard of a woman who gave up a great career to stay home with her kids, I would make scathing remarks. After motherhood, I have realised that life is a very long, very beautiful journey with inexplicable twists and turns. Now it is MY daughter who is rolling on the floor throwing a tantrum. It is I who has given up a career to be with my kids. And when someone gives me an uncomprehending look, I just smile quietly.

5. It has made me realise my parents worth.

Every time I grit my teeth in anger at something my kids do, I realise how much my parents went through and how nuch harder it was for them. And yet, I always grew up believing I was the center of their existence, the only reason for their happiness. If I can give my children half the sense of security that my parents gave me, I think my job is well done.

And then there are myriad other ones such as eyeing the dresses in the mall with one eye and your extremely flighty two year old with the other, eating in a fancy restaurant in 5 minutes flat and getting OUT of there. But that's fodder for another post.

I was tagged so long ago, its almost embarrassing. But JLT and Abha. Would love to hear what you have to say.


Aparna said...

Good one! Totally agree with you on #5. Heck, I even appreciate my parents-in-law more now :)

Sri said...

Super!! I agree with u completely..even i gave up my high paying job as i didnt have any proper support system at home and also because i didnt like creches or leaving my baby with a maid..

BangaloreMom said...

Aparna: I know what you mean ;).

Sri: I have been on both sides of the fence and only know that there ARE no right answers. You just go with what makes YOU happy!

Bangalore Women Professional said...

Good one... Correctly said

shubh said...

you guys have given new direction to my thoughts otherwise motherhood is hard to realise in correct ways. thanks a ton.

Aparna said...

I too agree with all your five points. I am also a fulltime home stay mom by my choice after leaving a lucrative career :). I always find this was the best choice which I ever made in my life :)

BangaloreMom said...

BWP and Shubh: Thanks
Aparna: Good to hear you have embraced your choice without regrets.

Anu Karthik said...

Beautiful post and yes, motherhood teaches us many things whether we want to learn or not as long as we go with the flow!

Suman Golati said...

Have been following your blog for sometime now. Always a pleasure to read your lucid, no-nonsense, crisp writing.

Suman Golati

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