Thursday, January 31, 2008

Happy Birthday, Darling!!

Kuttan turns 3 today!! 3 years of fun and joy and pride and tears and fear...but mainly 3 years filled with an intense love, a love so strong that it brings a lump to my throat every time I see him.

A love that makes me rush to his side first thing in the morning when he wakes up rubbing his eyes sleepily. A love that makes me rush maniacally through the streets of Bangalore in the evening to be with him. A love that makes my heart turn cold with fear whenever I hear anything remotely tragic involving kids. And an almost eerie sense of kinship with every other mother. Oh yes, motherhood is certainly an exclusive club!!

Celebrations have begun in a big way, with us already having had one party at his playschool today and having another one over the weekend for the kids at the apartment. I see him enjoying and revelling in all the attention and I wonder as to how this tiny creature who came, quite literally bursting into our lives 3 years ago has turned into such a little man!!

So what has becoming parents meant for me and hubby? Well, I need not even go into the on-the-top changes. Such as the early infancy sleepless nights. Or the struggle with feeding that I have had with him from the time he was just a few months old. Or the fact that usually-travel-and-adventure-loving hubby did'nt take a single trip for two whole years. Or the way I used to drive his paediatrician and myself and hubby nuts over every small perceived developmental delay. Or the nightmarish time we went through during the two earlier times I tried to get back(unsuccessfully) to work.

But wait...I am now beginning to remember the other times...Minutes after he was born and I was shifted to my room, still groggy with the anaesthetic. Hubby and I were left alone by the parents and the family brood along with the brand new baby. And through all the grogginess, I still remember the look on hubby's face as he looked at his son, still remember the tears in his eyes as he looked at the tiny bundle that was a part of us.

All the firsts after that. The first time he rolled over. The first crawl and step. The first day at school. So many moments of joy. Every single day. And I see how the baby has become a little boy today. I see how much he loves people, how good he is with people and I am so proud. I see him charming the socks off strangers and I want to shout to the world..he's mine, he's mine!!

I see him jealously sidling up to my side anytime hubby comes within a foot's radius and I laugh. I see the way he trustingly hugs me and cradles his head on my shoulder while sleeping at night and I melt...

Oh yes...there is a lot more to come...a lot many joys and happiness...probably tempered by a disappointment or two. I just cannot wait!! Parenthood is a blessing..and like all blessings it comes with a whole lot of responsibbilities and trade offs. The main trade off being that you are, for all eternity, prepared to seeing your heart walking outside your body.

Happy Birthday, sweetheart!! We love you..You make our lives go around...


noon said...

BM - Happy birthday to kuttan dear! You have to now mail me a picture OK!
It was a great post - could relate to so many lines deeply...the fear when you hear about things happening to other kids - I just have knots in my stomach...and the struggle with feeding...and feeling pride when he relates to people...(although KB is friendly with people but won't let them touch him unless they come and stay at our place!)...and your last line - so true! And wait till you have the second - you will just go through a new level of joy when you see your two children interacting...the fullness in your heart at those moments (not when they fight of course which I hear is bound to happen) is really something...
Congratulations to you and your hubby for the three year birthday! I feel like the amount of work it takes in the first few years, the parents* need to celebrate their child's birthday!

rags said...

Hey Happy Birthday Kuttan. Hope you will grow up into a fine man and one day, while surfing the net, stumble upon these comments :-)

Anu Russell said...

happy birthday little one and many more returns of this joyous and wonderful day!

Swati said...

Happy Birthday Kuttan :)

BTW Mom you are tagged

Aryan said...

Belated Happy birthday kuttan....have a nice time ahead..
Aryan's mom

Kadalabal said...

I am here for first time in your blog.
first a very happy belated birthday wishes to your son chi.kuttan.may god bless him with all happiness, health, education, wealth and much more important a peaceful and happy days for him throout.
ur blog post appears to very interestig. I went thro some of them and a I admire your openness. difference are part of life be it with parents, inlaws, siblings, children, friends and life partner.
important thing is you must retrospect on the view point of others and give due weightage to others views and if needed agree if not agree to disagree by convincing them of + or - of total issues.
then it will be a win win situatio for all.
thats all for the present.
have a wonderful day and week ahead
happy time for your family throout


BangaloreMom said...

Noonie, Rags, Anu, Swati and Aryan - Thanks for ur wishes. Will be sure to pass them on.

Pranesh Sir - Thanks for ur heartfelt comments. I agree with them and really appreciate you taking your time out to leave ur viewpoint on my blog.