The age of innocence

Kuttan and a friend A are playing outside in the balcony of our apartment on the 2nd floor. Scooter, a car and cycle are strewn around. A is riding the cycle and kuttan goes up to him after a while and says, 'let's change'. A refuses. An argument breaks out and A sulkily says, 'I won't be your friend.' 'Dont be..whats my problem', says kuttan. 'I am going to go and bring my cycle', says A...'let's see you do it', challenges kuttan, while I silently witness the drama unfolding without wanting to get in.

'See him amma, as though he can carry his cycle all the way. Let me see him do it.', kuttan says to me furiously while A storms off and I wisely bury my head back into the laptop. 5 minutes of silence. I look out to see kuttan missing. 'Kutta', I call out, 'where are you?'. 'I am here', floats a voice from the ground floor. 'Helping A carry his cycle to the 2nd floor'!!!!??!!

The age old debate...

...has been brough to focus again by this post. And I agree with all of Ro's observations - the smugness, the superiority, the feigned pity at the plight of the poor hapless kids who have the misfortune of being born to these power-crazy, money-crazy women. But, having been quite equally present on both sides of the fence, I have seen the other side of it too....the working women who give subtle pitying looks, the condescension, the raised eyebrows and the inevitable question 'Oh, but what do you do at home all day?'.

And it's not only the women. It's the society on the whole. The husbands, the other men in the family, men who think women who work in the world outside know what they are talking about and the ones at home have it easy....The truth is, the world may love pulling down the 'working moms' (I hate all tags but this one definitely takes the cake!) but secretly many, many people envy them and are threatened by them and, most importantly, respect them. For the SAHM on the other hand, to be considered as a person with half a brain is entirely another challenge in itself. I work from home full-time and am seen around the house feeding the kids, playing with them and so on. And then someone comes along and says, 'hey cute kids...so you are a SAHM?'. And I say, 'well, I work from home and I work with #%$%^'. And I visibly see the new light entering their eyes. I have seen it happen so many times, when, in fact, it should'nt matter at all, should it?

I wonder why women on both sides of the fence have it so tough. If this feels wrong and that feels wrong as well, what is right? I think there are no right answers and each one just follows his or her own compulsions, taking into consideration family, money and other factors. But I also wonder if all the judging and bitterness comes from people who are not entirely secure with the choices they have made themselves and just dont have the guts to admit it or do anything about it. The ones who are happy and confident about their place in the shade will surely understand other people's needs and compulsions and, if not supportive, will at least be peacably accepting about it.

At the end of the day, it all boils down to this. Is there a single working woman who, deep down, has not ONCE felt, 'I wish I could have an easier life!' when she has to drag herself to work leaving behind a sick child, or miss a recital or play in school or has to steel herself against those soft eyes and small hands tugging at her hand and heart saying, 'mamma, dont go!'? Is there ONE exhausted SAHM who has never wistfully looked at her friends and colleagues from an earlier life whose lives suddenly look super glamorous now and thought for one fleeting second, 'what if?'? With so many unspoken desires and pressing needs, should'nt we be sympathetic with each other and go the extra mile to understand and support? Will it happen? What do you think?

Where have I been?

Well, I have been around....doing more of the same. Working a little, but mainly raising two kids, living each day as it comes, soaking up all the little moments...and some big ones too.

The husband has finally finished his MBA program after two and a half long years. For the first time after two and a half years, I have him all to myself over the weekends. The feeling is yet to sink in and I am still exploring the myriad range of possibilities with this one ;)

What started as a playful 'let's see if we can get in' kind of thing became much bigger than we could ever have imagined. Life has changed substantially from the June of 2008 when the husband first decided to get into the program. The loss of a parent, birth of a child, a job and house change. I doubt if anyone less level-headed than the husband could have handled it and made it look so easy. Still, I am glad it is over and hopefully, we can look forward to the next phase of our lives.

I dont know what he learnt at IIM. But now, weekends are spent doing management-y and strategic things such as this.....

Yes I am still alive!!

I know, I know!! After the last break, I really do not deserve to be back at all...What can I say? We are all fine and everything is as good as can be. Attribute it to sheer madness of running a household with 2 kids, a hyper mother, an even more hyper grandmother and a poor sane voice of reason aka the husband struggling to be heard in all the shrillness.

I intend to be impressively regular with my blogging from now on. And intend to put on more pictures - of the kids, of the house, stuff we see, things we do and so on....Promise!!

As a little preview, here is a beautiful snap taken during lil princess's birthday last June...