Kuttan turns 3 today!! 3 years of fun and joy and pride and tears and fear...but mainly 3 years filled with an intense love, a love so strong that it brings a lump to my throat every time I see him.
A love that makes me rush to his side first thing in the morning when he wakes up rubbing his eyes sleepily. A love that makes me rush maniacally through the streets of Bangalore in the evening to be with him. A love that makes my heart turn cold with fear whenever I hear anything remotely tragic involving kids. And an almost eerie sense of kinship with every other mother. Oh yes, motherhood is certainly an exclusive club!!
Celebrations have begun in a big way, with us already having had one party at his playschool today and having another one over the weekend for the kids at the apartment. I see him enjoying and revelling in all the attention and I wonder as to how this tiny creature who came, quite literally bursting into our lives 3 years ago has turned into such a little man!!
So what has becoming parents meant for me and hubby? Well, I need not even go into the on-the-top changes. Such as the early infancy sleepless nights. Or the struggle with feeding that I have had with him from the time he was just a few months old. Or the fact that usually-travel-and-adventure-loving hubby did'nt take a single trip for two whole years. Or the way I used to drive his paediatrician and myself and hubby nuts over every small perceived developmental delay. Or the nightmarish time we went through during the two earlier times I tried to get back(unsuccessfully) to work.
But wait...I am now beginning to remember the other times...Minutes after he was born and I was shifted to my room, still groggy with the anaesthetic. Hubby and I were left alone by the parents and the family brood along with the brand new baby. And through all the grogginess, I still remember the look on hubby's face as he looked at his son, still remember the tears in his eyes as he looked at the tiny bundle that was a part of us.
All the firsts after that. The first time he rolled over. The first crawl and step. The first day at school. So many moments of joy. Every single day. And I see how the baby has become a little boy today. I see how much he loves people, how good he is with people and I am so proud. I see him charming the socks off strangers and I want to shout to the world..he's mine, he's mine!!
I see him jealously sidling up to my side anytime hubby comes within a foot's radius and I laugh. I see the way he trustingly hugs me and cradles his head on my shoulder while sleeping at night and I melt...
Oh yes...there is a lot more to come...a lot many joys and happiness...probably tempered by a disappointment or two. I just cannot wait!! Parenthood is a blessing..and like all blessings it comes with a whole lot of responsibbilities and trade offs. The main trade off being that you are, for all eternity, prepared to seeing your heart walking outside your body.
Happy Birthday, sweetheart!! We love you..You make our lives go around...